


You're Awful, I Love You

by Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends



Series: We Can Fuse?! [14]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (listen it's canon that Remus sleeps 'in the buff' but it's only sort of implied in the fic), (nothing actually happens they're just kind of horny), Birthday Presents, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Flirting, Food, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Nudity, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Teasing, implied/referenced NSFW, listen in this au everyone is friends bc i said so, mentions of eating things you probably shouldn't, vague King Creativity mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24914179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends/pseuds/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends
Summary: It was relatively quiet when Janus crept down the mindscape’s hallway. He could hear the sound of a movie playing from the living room- a quick peek revealed that Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil were watching Tangled, and they more or less resembled the movie’s title with how curled up they were together. Janus rolled his eyes, and continued on to his destination: Remus’s room.
Relationships: Background LAMP, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Everyone, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: We Can Fuse?! [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1112916
Comments: 53
Kudos: 212





	You're Awful, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to Remus! Also thanks to vintage-squid, they willingly sat through my ramblings and helped me out with ideas for this fic! Title is taken from the song Love Me Dead by Ludo!

It was relatively quiet when Janus crept down the mindscape’s hallway. He could hear the sound of a movie playing from the living room- a quick peek revealed that Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil were watching Tangled, and they more or less resembled the movie’s title with how curled up they were together. Janus rolled his eyes, and continued on to his destination: Remus’s room. It was just a little bit past midnight, making it officially the twenty-fifth of June- Remus’s birthday (although technically speaking as sides they were never really born, and  _ technically _ he should have shared Roman’s birthday, considering that they were twins, but Remus instead chose the day he first appeared… which was another can of worms entirely as it could sometimes bring on troublesome memories for Remus due to the… split, for lack of a better term).

Lost in thought, Janus hadn’t entirely realized he had made it to Remus’s door until he nearly walked past it. He shook his head, as if he were trying to dislodge the thoughts. Remus was doing much better when it came to things with his brother, and while he still didn’t really want people to make a big fuss out of his birthday, he was more open to celebrating it. Hence why Janus was creeping through the halls to wish his boyf- Remus, a happy birthday.

Janus opened the door, and was mildly surprised to see that Remus was actually asleep. He was sprawled on the bed face-first, and the covers only partially covered his body- his back was bare, and with a mild flush to the human half of his face, Janus realized that Remus was likely nude underneath the sheets- although he couldn’t fully tell. Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, Janus closed the door and sat down on the edge of Remus’s bed. Remus stirred slightly, not opening his eyes yet but seeming like he was on the beginnings of waking up. Janus reached out and ran a gloved hand across Remus’s shoulders, and the dark creative side let out a pleased sigh. His eyes fluttered open, and Janus’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the way Remus’s eyes brightened when they focused on him.

“Happy birthday, my dastardly partner in crime,” Janus said in a near purr. Remus let out a gleeful cackle, and quickly scrambled into a seated position. He promptly latched onto Janus and pulled him into bed. Janus let out a surprised yelp, shifting so that he was lying next to Remus, rather than on top of him.

“You’re so sweet, JanJan!” Remus exclaimed with an enthusiastic smattering of kisses all over Janus’s face. 

“Remus,” Janus got out, the human half of his face almost completely red.

“You  _ are _ sweet- and coming from you that sweetness doesn’t make me feel nauseated!” Remus chirped with one last kiss to Janus’s cheek, making an exaggerated smacking sound as he did so.

“Remus, no,” Janus scowled, though there wasn’t much malice in his tone.

“It’s  _ my  _ birthday, I do what I want,” Remus crooned, scooching closer and wrapping his arms around Janus’s waist. Janus rolled his eyes, but didn’t move to escape his grasp.

“You do what you want regardless of what day it is,” Janus deadpanned. Remus cackled, burying his face into Janus’s chest.

“Fair enough… and what I want right now is six-armed cuddles!” Remus said with a grin. Janus chuckled and summoned his two extra pairs of arms, pulling Remus close against him.

“The things I do for you…” Janus trailed off with a sigh.

“Aw c’mon, you know you can’t resist me,” Remus said with a yawn, snuggling into Janus’s chest. Janus only smiled, kissing the top of his head.

“Good morning, dearest Duke,” Janus hummed fondly, vaguely registering Remus’s giggle before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Remus woke up slowly, much later that morning. He blinked awake to see Janus sleeping peacefully, and his traitorous heart beat the tiniest bit faster at the sight. Curse Janus and his ability to make Remus ridiculously sappy and soft… although truthfully, Remus wouldn’t have it any other way. Janus seemed to sense Remus watching him, and his eyes fluttered open. A soft, adoring smile came over the snake-like side’s face, and Remus’s breath caught in his throat.

“You’re so goddamn  _ pretty _ , what the fuck,” Remus breathed. The human side of Janus’s face flushed, making him even prettier, in his opinion.

“Remus-”

“My birthday!” Remus chirped, cutting off his complaints.

“So I should be complimenting you,” Janus grumbled. Remus wrinkled his nose in mild distaste, before a devious smirk came to his face. Janus raised an eyebrow, but before he could say anything, Remus rolled them so that he was on top, and he absolutely  _ adored _ the squeak Janus let out.

“But complimenting you is so much more fun! Plus I know you’ve got a thing for praise,” Remus murmured with a wink. Janus let out another one of those adorable squeaking sounds, and his mouth opened and closed uselessly. Soon enough, he made the decision to simply tug Remus down into a kiss instead of coming up with a response. Remus grinned against his mouth, and he would have happily kissed Janus breathless- except a knock at the door interrupted them.

“Remus? Are you decent?” Roman’s voice came from the other side of the door. Remus broke away from Janus with an annoyed groan.

“Am I ever, brother dear?” Remus cackled. He heard a long-suffering sigh from Roman.

“Remus,” he said reproachfully. Remus rolled his eyes, and with a snap of his fingers he was fully clothed. He clambered off of Janus and over to his door.

“This better be good, I haven’t even put on my makeup- what the fuck,” Remus said as he opened the door. Roman was holding a rather large green octopus plushie with patchwork arms, and in those arms held what seemed to be a written manuscript of some kind.

“I know you didn’t want a big fuss, but it’s your  _ birthday _ and gifts are one of my main love languages, so please just take it,” Roman explained sheepishly. Remus cocked his head to the side, but gently took the plushie and manuscript from Roman. The swirling text on the title read “The Adventures of Duke Remus and the Ghoul Boys” and was illustrated with Remus and what seemed to be Ryan and Shane from Buzzfeed Unsolved standing in front of a cthulhu-like creature.

“I  _ told _ him to respect your wishes for a casual birthday, but he wrote that massive anthology out of pure spite,” a voice commented, and Remus looked up to see that Logan had joined Roman, sipping at his mug of coffee.

“You wrote this for me?” Remus asked, voice uncharacteristically small.

“It’s about you becoming best friends with the Buzzfeed Unsolved boys! Except for that ghosts and demons and cryptids are all real, and you befriend them too!” Roman explained excitedly. Remus grinned, tossing the book and the plushie onto his bed before pulling Roman into a nearly bone-crushing hug. Roman made a surprised sound, but hugged Remus back. 

“Thanks, Roman,” he said softly.

“You’re welcome… now could you loosen up a bit so I can breathe a little?” Roman said, voice sounding slightly strained.

“We don’t need to breathe! We’re imaginary, you dumb shit!” Remus teased, but let go of Roman and stepped back. Roman scowled slightly, but there was an amused twinkle in his eyes.

“Logannn, Remus is being meannn!” Roman whined.

“He’s technically right,” Logan replied with a shrug. Remus laughed, and Roman’s scowl grew deeper.

“Hey, you’re my boyfriend! Shouldn’t you be rushing to my rescue?!” Roman protested. Logan chuckled, and dropped a quick kiss to Roman’s head.

“I’m all for subverting stereotypes, Roman, but aren’t  _ you _ supposed to be a knight?” Janus teased, having gotten out of bed and joining Remus at his side.

“Why are you in- you know what? Nevermind, I don’t wanna know. Patton made breakfast, if you guys eat that sort of thing,” Roman muttered, turning and heading down the hallway towards the kitchen. Logan wished Remus a happy birthday, and then followed after Roman. Janus hugged Remus from behind, nuzzling into his neck slightly.

“You don’t have to go down to breakfast if you want to,” Janus murmured.

“Patton would probably be disappointed… besides, if I suffer through one meal with my brother and his boyfriend collection, then I can spend the rest of the day with you,” Remus crooned, leaning over and kissing Janus’s forehead.

“Sounds good to me,” Janus murmured, and abruptly scooped up Remus into his six arms.

“Janus?!” Remus squeaked, not at all complaining but was still surprised at his danger noodle’s actions.

“What, you expect me to let you  _ walk _ on your birthday?” Janus scoffed.

“Well- I guess not, but I haven’t even done my makeup yet!” Remus protested.

“Oh. Well in that case…” Janus trailed off as he spun around, heading back into Remus’s room. He gently deposited Remus onto the chair in front of the rusted and cracked vanity, then scooped up the eyeshadow palette and a brush. Janus then plopped himself down onto Remus’s lap, opening the palette and looking over the colors.

“Do- do you need to be sitting in my lap to do this?” Remus asked, feeling mildly flustered. It was just the sweet, intimate domesticity of it all- not only was Janus apparently planning on doing Remus’s makeup, but he also was planning on sitting in Remus’s lap while he did so.

“Yes,” Janus said with a slight smirk. Remus laughed, and obediently closed his eyes so that Janus could do his eyeshadow. Frankly, Remus wanted nothing more than to watch Janus do his makeup- his face was probably screwed up in concentration, maybe he even had his tongue sticking out slightly in a little blep! But unfortunately, having his eyes closed was the only way to get the eyeshadow on- eyeshadow couldn’t stick to his eyeballs, unfortunately.

After a few moments, Janus declared his makeup done, and Remus turned to look at himself in the musty mirror. Janus had done a good job of recreating his typical look- but it seemed he had added a bit of his own flair to it. The blackish-bluish-purplish eyeshadow seemed a bit more shimmery than usual, and Janus had added a sparkly green color on the inner corners of his eyes. It wasn’t ridiculously over the top, in fact it was more subtle, but Remus turned to Janus with a mildly incredulous look anyhow.

“Are my eyes  _ sparkly _ ?!” he asked, torn between kissing Janus or shoving him off his lap.

“Are they? I hadn’t noticed,” Janus replied, trying to sound aloof- but Remus knew him better. Remus wasn’t kidding when he had said Janus had a thing for praise- he genuinely wanted validation from others, but he hid his insecurities with sharp words and sarcasm.

“I guess it wouldn’t kill me to be a little extra sparkly on my birthday- especially when you did such an exquisite job!” Remus said gleefully, kissing Janus’s scaly cheek. Janus nearly sagged with relief, but his expression was composed as ever when he stood up and scooped Remus up into his arms again.

“To breakfast?” Janus asked.

“Let’s get this over with!” Remus chirped, happily nuzzling into Janus’s embrace.

* * *

Breakfast wasn’t as horrible as Remus had assumed. He did have to suffer through Patton playfully ruffling his hair and wishing him happy birthday, and while pancakes couldn’t hold a candle to his favorite deodorant treat, he had to admit that Patton was a pretty decent cook. Besides, he could drown his pancakes in syrup and cackle at Roman’s mildly horrified expression. He did get a snicker out of Virgil at that though, and he even complimented Remus’s eyeshadow. Logan also commented that his eyeshadow was “aesthetically pleasing,” and Remus didn’t hesitate to compliment his sweet serpent’s makeup capabilities.

After some pleasant (blech) conversation with Roman and the other sides, Remus and Janus were free to spend the day however they liked. Which led to Janus carrying Remus to his room after stopping in Remus’s room to pick up the plushie and fanfiction from Roman. Janus gently deposited Remus onto the bed, and after a moment of concentration, he summoned various treats to sit on the bedside tables on either side of the bed. There was a basket of deodorant with a green bow around the handle, but there were some more traditionally edible treats as well. Black licorice, a bowl of jellybeans that Remus suspected were of the bean-boozled variety, and oddly enough, a bowl of oranges. He cocked his head to the side in confusion, and picked up one of the oranges. The texture of it wasn’t like an orange peel, more like a foil candy wrapper. He turned it over in his hands to find that it  _ was _ a wrapper, and unwrapped the “orange” to see that it was chocolate  _ shaped _ like an orange! He popped one of the slices into his mouth and discovered that the chocolate was a little orange flavored as well!

“Oh, sneaky! And sweet! Reminds me of someone I know,” Remus all but purred, batting his eyelashes at Janus. The deceitful side blushed slightly, smiling softly as he sat down next to Remus. He took this as an opportunity to crawl into Janus’s lap, and snatched up the fanfiction that Roman had written him.

“Shall we see what atrocities Roman wrote?” Janus asked dryly.

“Well if Roman  _ really _ knew me, he would have written me an atrocity!” Remus cackled. Janus laughed, shaking his head fondly. Remus opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever he had planned to say he had promptly forgotten, as he noticed that Janus’s pet snake, Aletheia-Apate, had slithered up onto the bed to see what all the fuss was about.

“Howdy hey, Double-A! Say Jan, does she ever shed her skin? Do you think I could keep it if she does?” Remus asked. Aletheia-Apate reared her heads back, looking mildly offended before one of them shook her head, and the other nodded vigorously.

“I’ll be sure to save her skin for you next time she sheds,” Janus replied with a chuckle. Aletheia-Apate looked mildly offended, but she slithered up to coil around Janus’s wrist anyhow.

“Well, since that’s settled… how does reading Roman’s fanfiction to me while feeding me treats every now and then sound?” Remus asked with a toothy grin. Janus smiled back, summoning his extra arms so that two of them could hold the manuscript, one could stay curled around Remus’s waist, another could hold Aletheia-Apate, one could run through Remus’s hair, and the other could feed him the rest of the chocolate orange slices.

Roman’s story was actually pretty good, and Janus’s smooth voice paired with it perfectly. Remus particularly enjoyed Roman’s take on Goatman’s bridge, he had gotten to do a dance battle with Goatman while Shane cheered him on and Ryan watched on anxiously. Remus had eventually won the bridge, and the idea of owning a bridge that he could jump out and scare people on sounded pretty good to him! And while listening to Janus read and having him feed him treats every once in a while (the jellybeans  _ were _ of the bean-boozled variety, and Remus found himself enjoying the toothpaste flavored ones in particular), the best thing was being curled up with Janus. Just being so close to the one he loved… wait a minute. Loved? Since when had Remus been thinking  _ that _ about Janus? Sure, there had always been the baseline attraction he felt for Janus, but when had those feelings grown into something more? Remus went still in Janus’s arms at the realization, and sheepishly gazed up at him. Janus noticed his sudden stillness, and peered down at him with concern.

“I love you,” Remus blurted. He wasn’t one for tact or thinking things through before he said them, why have a dramatic lead up? And from the way Janus’s expression lit up with adoration, the decision of Remus blurting out his feelings was a good one.

“I- you- what?” Janus rambled, and oh- Janus at a loss for words was a marvel to behold.

“You don’t have to say it back, I was just thinking and realized that I was in love with you,” Remus replied softly. Janus’s eyes went wide, eyes shining as he deposited the treats, manuscript, and his pet onto the bedside table so that he could hold Remus properly. He leaned his forehead against Remus’s, letting out a single elated laugh as he gazed into Remus’s eyes.

“I- I love you too, Remus,” he said in a near whisper, as if he was afraid to say it too loudly. Remus let out a gleeful cackle, and reached his hands up to cup Janus’s cheeks and pull him into a kiss. Janus scrunched his nose slightly at the taste of chocolate, oranges, and toothpaste on Remus’s lips, but didn’t pull away. Instead he kissed Remus more fervently, one pair of arms holding him firmly around the waist, one pair of hands running through Remus’s hair, and the last pair gripping the collar of Remus’s tunic. Remus eagerly drank in every pleased sound Janus made against his lips, and he fully intended to kiss Janus breathless like he had wanted to that morning… except for the two of them had started glowing around the edges. Well, Remus could live with fusing with Janus on his birthday- what better way to read the rest of Roman’s fanfiction than fused together?

Samael popped into existence where Remus and Janus had been sitting, and his various snake arms flicked their tongues excitedly, scenting Samael’s face and causing him to giggle and the ticklish sensation and bat them away. He looked to Aletheia-Apate, who was giving him an unimpressed stare. Samael laughed at the double-headed snake’s expression, then focused on willing away some of his limbs. Six of them remained- although one pair were snake arms, while the rest were regular arms. The snake arms coiled in his lap, and Aletheia-Apate slithered over curiously. Deciding that the two snake arms were relatively harmless, she nestled in between them, then looked up at Samael expectantly.

“Do you want me to keep reading?” Samael asked, picking up the manuscript and the bowl of jellybeans. Aletheia nodded her head excitedly, while Apate shook her head no. Samael grinned, showing off his sharp teeth, then grabbed a handful of jellybeans and putting all of them in his mouth. Once he had chewed and swallowed the… interesting… flavor combination, he opened up the manuscript to where Janus and Remus had left off. He continued to read aloud, unable to keep the excitement out of his tone. Because for the first time, he had truly been fused out of love.

**Author's Note:**

> Remus's Octopus Plushie Ref: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/640361419224776724/725553565166469120/f6793568fc0750e6469366eb61d2742b.jpg?width=257&height=386  
> Chocolate Oranges (vintage-squid told me about these! I don't think you can get them in the US, but they seem like a very Remus treat to me!): https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/587773933621608453/725731518785388564/700x9999.12CF0735-067B-ECA7-7462C2319CA8D0B3-featured_image.jpg?width=386&height=386


End file.
